Free? You know you'll take it!

So, I’m still not sure how I ended up the lone person standing at a table handing out hot dogs in gloves. All I did was go home for the Easter weekend. Mom had warned me that she had signed me up to help hand out hot dogs at the Mayor’s Easter Egg Hunt in Fort Smith (where life’s worth living!). I was excited. I figured I would get to see some of my friends. I did not. Trey, KFerg, Rach – you let me down. Well, I did see friends, just not the ones I listed (and I saw you three the next day). But I digress. For the first two hours, it was a swarm of people combined with a bad system. In order to prevent a hunger frenzy, we sent out workers among the people to hand out hot dogs, while a battalion of us manned the tables to prep the dogs. First, we put the hot dogs in the bun in cardboard boats. Then we ran out of boats, so we put them in sleeves (PAIN in the you-know-where!!!). Then we ran out of sleeves and wrapped them in napkins. Then we ran out of napkins and just handed out hot dogs in buns. Then we ran out of hot dog buns. So people formed a line to wait for the possibility of hot dog buns. Then somebody went and got some hot dog buns (we handed out cookies while they waited), and we passed out more hot dogs.



It might help to mention at this point that these hot dogs were free. I don’t know if you’ve ever been around a horde of people who have been enticed to present themselves solely for the purpose of acquiring as many free things as possible – if you haven’t, suffice it to say that it’s quite a sight (somewhat akin to the annual Turkey Toss that takes place in November). We were told there were over 3,000 people in the park that day. I told my Mom that it felt like I saw the same 100 people just circling through the line. Seriously.

Back to my enthralling story. So then we ran out of hot dog buns again. I thought that people would begin declining hot dogs. That did not happen. As the Easter Egg Hunt was winding down, people began clearing the tables and tearing down. All that was left on the table was the pan of the remaining hot dogs. I didn’t have anything to give them to people in, until I looked to my left and saw the gloves that we were supposed to be using in the event the Health Department cared to take notice of our activities. So, people started asking if we had hot dogs left. I gave lone wieners to people wrapped in gloves for “napkins.” Needless to say, this was rather amusing. One man who is, let’s just say, older than my parents, thought it was hilarious. He stood next to me and I thought he was going to help. He did not. He took one lone glove, and filled each finger, giggling maniacally the entire time. Then gleefully handed it to an unsuspecting child who approached the table for one hot dog. All right, fine. I was giggling too – all the while handing out hot dogs wrapped in gloves to people. People were doing that idle meander that takes them past the table so they could see if there was any food left. I’d just stare them down til they looked at me, then proffer a wiener in a glove. I’d say that 98% of people (and volunteers) took me up on it. Again, who can turn down something that’s free?

Finally, we got down to about 20 hot dogs, and I happened to glance behind me and ask why everyone was watching me give away the dogs. Mom finally stepped up and opened gloves while I dropped one wiener in each. Of course, you can guess which digit the dogs landed in. Of course, even during this time, people were coming up to ask for hot dogs. We could barely fill the gloves fast enough. Finally, all dogs were strategically placed in gloves, and Mom and I made our getaway. We tried to do some shopping, but didn’t make it very far. We were both disgusted by the lingering smell of cheap grilled hot dog that hung in the air, on our clothing, and in our hair. So we went home and took naps in preparation for our dinner at Doe’s.

One of my faithful readers/favorite people asked me if I got to make cupcakes this weekend. I did not. However, the weekend redeemed itself in other ways, like getting to hand out hot dogs. And eating at Doe’s with my parents and Mikey and J-Lo. I love when I get to be the fifth wheel at their dinners. We got to sit in Cole’s booth, and it’s probably a good thing. We were kind of loud. Dad and Mikey tend to make a scene in public when they start telling stories. Once, somebody (at Taliano’s) asked to take our picture because it looked like we were having so much fun! So. . . no baking was done this weekend. But we did have good food – Mom’s Sunday dinner was amazing. And then I drove back to STL. I was pretty cranky about having to leave so soon, particularly since I was enthralled in the Mickelson/Woods show (Mickelson’s my fav because he’s a lefty like me! – although he probably plays golf better than I do). I left right after the twelfth hole where Mickelson totally lost it.

But now it’s back to work and my life here!! Who know what adventures will happen next.